Toothpaste For Dinner archives (by month):
2010: jan . : . feb . : . mar
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2005: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2004: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2010: jan . : . feb . : . mar
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2005: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2004: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
FUN FACT: did you know that it takes over four hundred dashed hopes and broken dreams to make just one sweatervest?
Dear Drew: Thank you for submitting your script. Regretfully, we do not have the budget to produce "Willow 2: Midgets Gone Wild", so we must respectfully decline this submission.
say there neighbor, can i trouble you for an eighth of a teaspoon of saffron and a few capers?
rumrumrumrum REE-E-E-E-E-EEEeerr nnun, nun, nun here is an idea for you: maybe when you come to the library next time DON'T BRING AN ELECTRIC PENCIL SHARPENER AND USE IT ON AN ENTIRE BOX OF COLORED PENCILS
RAP CONCEPT ALBUM i am making a rap concept album the concept is "i hate you and you rap worse"
PULLIN' ON FACIAL PIERCINGS AAAGGGHHHHH ALWAYS FUN
LESS-FAMOUS EATING DISORDERS GUACAREXIA. a condition characterized by the use of guacamole as the sole nutrition source. FRENCHFREMIA. sufferers of this claim to be vegans, but in fact subsist chiefly on french fries. PICKYEATEA. people with this disorder subsist only on hot dogs and chewable childrens' vitamins.
hey there tiger how you want your hair cut - crappy, extra crappy, or so crappy it makes you look like a little kid
tap tap tap tap tap tap DOOT DOO-DOO DOO DOOT DOOT INTERNET BROKEN STOP BACKUP PORN SUPPLY RUNNING OUT STOP SEND HELP SOON STOP END TRANSMISSION
over the past seven years, scientists at NASA have toiled ceaselessly to create this engine which is forty percent more efficient than standard internal-combustion engines it is powered by dead children and heroin, cutting fossil fuel consumption by nearly ninety percent
hey man, i see you all the time at shows around town...i'm trying to get a band together, do you play any instruments? yeah, just one, it's called "hide in the woods and eat peoples' heads off"
FUN FACT: remember, kids: if a little bit of medicine makes you feel better, a lot will make you feel great!! also, don't tell your mom tat, because she doesn't want you to have fun!
hey sheila... uh, i'm gonna be going to oregon this weekend, so do you know if there's any way i could just get paid in oxen? i'll need a few, some of em are gonna drown when we ford rivers
CAUTION ACHTUNG ATTENTION CUIDADO MEAT FARTS IN VICINITY
WHAT MAKES BIGFOOT MAD - not being able to smoke inside - bipartisan politics = being asked to "super-size" or otherwise upgrade his fast food meals - scratchy tags in the back of t-shirts - fire (scary)
ohhhhhhhhh... if you're amish and you know it, tend your farm if you're amish and you know it, tend your farm
i just returned two separate cell phones because they failed to work as soon as i purchased them it's great to know that technology has progressed to the point that companies can make billions of dollars even though their products just don't work at all
MILLION DOLLAR IDEA this tastes excellent an edible, flavored, powdered gel product that is a desiccant like silica gel - however, instead of being marked "SILICA GEL - DO NOT EAT", the packets will say TASTY POWDER, PLEASE OPEN AND EAT it will cause shoe sales to go through the roof
ohay, so here's the new reality show i developed: we're gonna scour the internet for obsessive stalkers and form a rap group with five of them, called RE$TRAINING ORDER the first single will be called "i looked you up on google (everyone i went to high school with remix)"
it has a tart, spicy taste, with overtones of cherry and oak, and a salty finish...what's in this one well, it's a blend of thirty percent syrah, seventy percent pinot noir, and then i jizzed in your glass before handing it to you
rrrrr MACHINES THAT JOHN HENRY BEAT: - electric can opener - electric griddle - electric washer/drier - offset printing press - copy machine - steam drill* - electric coffeemaker * barely
okay, so let's say you catch your coworker stealing...what would you do then? i say we fire him pope-style we'll get a silver hammer, hit him in the head three times, and then use it to smash his ring
COLUMBUS, OHIO RAP SCENE 2005 THA ARCHERZ MC SCHOOL FOR THE BLIND GRANDPA IN A STARTER JACKET THACO, CHAOTIC GOOD ELF WARRIOR (INVENTORY CONTAINS AMULET OF TIGHT FLOWS, +1 VS SUCKA MCS)
the temperature...at which natural gas burns FAHRENHEIT: SOMEONE KEEPS TURNING UP THE THERMOSTAT, IT'S LIKE NINETY DEGREES IN HERE
COMPLAINTS COMPLAINTS!!! new and improved! look for them soon at a blog near you! comments(0)
drew, this is bigfoot...he's going to be sharing your cubicle for a few months until we move into the bigger office
honk honk how do most offices celebrate cinco de mayo? in ohio the answer is "changing the muzak to mariachi music for one day"
FUN FACT: everyone at work has, at least once, if only for an instant, thought about taking a cooking from the little fund-raiser table in the breakroom without paying
brotha i ain't gonna lie, i just want a dolla to go get some beer yeah, profits went down last quarter, so i had to fire six hundred of you to continue to afford my private jet
DICKS HAMSTER this is not a fraternity and if i ever wake up with anything written on my head ever again, you are going back to the pet store
well, i don't think we're getting anywhere here, so can you put me through to the manager of the total incompetence department, or the supervisor of screwing up orders, or whoever is in charge of your department
Toothpaste For Dinner archives (by month):
2010: jan . : . feb . : . mar
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2005: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2004: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2010: jan . : . feb . : . mar
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2005: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2004: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec