Toothpaste For Dinner archives (by month):
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2005: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2004: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2005: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2004: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
FUN FACT: did you know that "neon" signs are actually filled with a variety of different gases, including argon, krypton, and meat fart? sniff sniff sign
no way dude, this video is just four hours of women stomping on ground beef well, i'm paying, and i'm not getting this i don't mind that my hamster likes pornos, but he is always trying to get me to rent the weird niche videos
FUN FACT: the term "tip" originated in the mid-1920s and originally stood for dammit grandpa, put down more than fifty cents, you're embarrassing us
i'm gonna need you to update this spreadsheet before the meeting tomorrow your mom's gonna need me to update that spreadsheet before she goes to the meeting tomorrow
okay, so let's see...the fountain is here, the one store is over there, and i am here...wait, how fast am i going? it doesn't say the only man in the world who hates going to the mall more than i do: werner heisenberg
HOW TO LOSE FRIENDS here you go dude buy a t-shirt for your friend's dog that says "MY OTHER DOG WAS A ROAST BEEF SANDWICH. I ATE IT AND NOW I ONLY HAVE THIS DOG"
what gym teachers do after getting fired hey, uh, i don't have anything for you to do today, so why don't you go shoot baskets till the end of your shift
coming up next on WHEN FRINGE POLITICIANS ATTACK.... ralph nader and jesse jackson! why are their eyes weird like that! that is weird!
little-known-heroes of the friday donut box at work nibble squish secretly stale and rock-hard
HAMSTER i am tired of giving you handouts, you are going to have to earn your keep from now on so before i give you this wood thing to chew on, i want to hear a short freestyle rap on the subject of hamster gang affiliations
MY OTHER T-SHIRT HAS A JOKE ON IT
CRANOODLES. n. crap noodles
just remember you can't spell "suburbs" without BUS RUBS
FUN FACT: did you know that beach sand is made in a factory in western pennsylvania, shipped all over the united states, and dumped from helicopters onto our shores at night? (before 1936, beaches were mostly composed of rocks and mud)
what is your desired salary level well, let's see... i have a bachelor's degree, and i'm trying to save up so i can move into a non-crime-ridden part of town... and social security is screwed, so i'd like to save for retirement too...so, how about you offer me something insulting and then force me to work sixty hours a week after you hire me
worrrrk's out, fo-evah iiiii quit, with no notice
your administrator has blocked access to this website (reason: might provide you with a modicum of joy in the meaningless sea of your existence)
so hey, i was thinking of getting a band together...do you wanna agree to join, then only come to one practice, and get mad when i call to see if you still wanna be in the band
hello, and welcome to tourette's syndrome my name is drew and i will be your guide to - ffffFFUCK FUCK BITCH SHITTER
QUICK TIP: if fancy fruit-laden english cheese were meant to be eaten in more than one sitting it would come in slices. NOT IN A SOLID DELICIOUS WEDGE.
a recent study by the university of dayton confirms that it does, indeed, snow in ohio, and suggests that someone might want to plow the roads occasionally
listen, don't go to lunch today, we're going to have a two-hour meeting instead i don't think that would destroy your spirit enough, though, so i got us some cold, stale sandwiches in boxes to eat during the meeting. and i'll act offended if you don't eat one
then, when you graduate high school, you can go to college, where you pick what you want to study you can study anything from business to science to art to booze and pot most people call that last one "english major"
remember: bad judgment starts at home this has been a public service announcement sponsored by "citizens for why did you wear that shirt"
being a bowling fan is a long, hard road no foam hands, no body paint, and it is almost impossible to catch a foul ball, much less a strike
my talent: to chew on tea tree oil toothpicks until they are completely shredded and i have to pull the splinters out of my mouth
well, hamster... i can set you free, but remember, this is the united states, so it will be about a hundred years until you are allowed in a restaurant or at a water fountain
2004 was a kinda crappy year, i thought 2005 would be better but then i saw it was the year of the cock thanks a lot china
staching. n. STASH-ing. the practice of eating pistachios. yeah man, i picked up a pound on tuesday and i been stachin' hard ever since
let's face it...you work hard, you give a hundred ten percent, but your boss still claims your work as his own, and talks down to you every time he can bring himself to get up out of his four hundred dollar desk chair. DOUBLE FLIPPIN. for when one middle finger just isn't enough
whoa gentlemen, i have finished a working prototype of my time machine...however, it will only travel to 1995 fortunately, this is just the thing which will allow me to once again enjoy radiohead
Toothpaste For Dinner archives (by month):
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2005: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2004: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2005: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2004: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
