Crudbump: Rap & Beats
Toothpaste For Dinner archives (by month):

2014: jan : feb : mar : apr
2013: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2012: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2011: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2010: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2009: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2008: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2007: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2006: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2005: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2004: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
 

Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the basic premise * Text: 

well, the basic premise of the musical is that, if he's inside, ray charles can't tell if it's snowing
06-30-05

the basic premise
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the mathroom * Text: 

excuse me for a moment please, i have to use the mathroom
06-29-05

the mathroom
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the mirrorflex * Text: 

yeah, i stay in shape by flexing for five minutes every time i walk by


FUN FACT:


the most popular piece of equipment in most gyms is not the barbell, the lat machine, or treadmill, but is in fact the mirror
06-28-05

the mirrorflex
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: where is * Text: 

WHERE IS:


- my coffee


- where is it
06-27-05

where is
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: why cant i find love * Text: 

this next one is called
06-26-05

why cant i find love
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: working from home today * Text: 

now let's switch, it'll be your turn to tell me to stay late the rest of the week to cover up your incompetence
06-25-05

working from home today
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: old dirty rocks * Text: 

MIND IF I TURN UP THE RADIO???


coworkers: worth their weight in old dirty rocks
06-24-05

old dirty rocks
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: masterfece * Text: 

MASTERFECE. n. a particularly large or shapely piece of poop.
06-23-05

masterfece
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: circle work * Text: 

CIRCLE WORK RULES:


everyone gets an assignment. they put their computers in a circle and do their assignments. the last one to finish has to print out everyone else's spreadsheets, put them on a cracker, and eat it.
06-22-05

circle work
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: bigfoots garage sale * Text: 

nah, there's nothing much here, just some rudimentary tools and some bloody shreds of clothing
06-21-05

bigfoots garage sale
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: aluminum silicate mocha freeze * Text: 

THE ALUMINUM SILICATE MOCHA FREEZE


- stays colder longer than traditional mocha freeze


- higher surface area-to-volume ratio promotes formation of ice crystals


- when finished drinking, aluminum silicate can be used as substrate in pebble-bed reactor, or used for mocha freeze refill
06-20-05

aluminum silicate mocha freeze
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: fart squad tshirt * Text: 

FART SQUAD


IF YOU SEE ME RUNNING, TRY TO KEEP UP (INVISIBLE FART TRAIL FOLLOWS)
06-19-05

fart squad tshirt
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the bowl is the central processing unit * Text: 

you know you have picked a winner when, after less than a week at a new job, you get an e-mail of that picture comparing the parts of a toilet to the parts of a computer
06-18-05

the bowl is the central processing unit
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: when you run out * Text: 

well, you know, alcohol's a depressant...


when you run out! heh heh


ha ha, yeah, it's like, fetal stem cells are a depressant...when you run out! hah, it's like, hey, you done with that baby yet? heh heh
06-17-05

when you run out
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: fantasy cocktail league season 2 * Text: 

FANTASY COCKTAIL LEAGUE: SEASON 2


the
06-16-05

fantasy cocktail league season 2
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: call me the prankster * Text: 

i love to play pranks on other people in the office, to keep everyone on their toes and make work fun!


the other day, i paid a russian agent ten grand to jab my coworker with a sharpened umbrella tip coated in ricin as he was getting on the bus! guess who wasn't at work today! uh oh! ha ha ha...gotcha!


yep, that's why they call me the prankster
06-15-05

call me the prankster
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: birdmouths * Text: 

in my dream everyone had birdmouths


and nobody messed with anyone else


unless they wanted the crap pecked out of them
06-14-05

birdmouths
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: scratch off lottery tickets * Text: 

skrit skrit skrit


QUICK FINANCIAL TIP:


try not to spend more than 20% of your monthly income on scratch-off lottery tickets
06-13-05

scratch off lottery tickets
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: fantasy cocktail league season 1 * Text: 

FANTASY COCKTAIL LEAGUE: SEASON 1


the
06-12-05

fantasy cocktail league season 1
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: hey jealousy * Text: 

here's the report... i'll give it to you as soon as you sing me an a capella version of
06-11-05

hey jealousy
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: bigfoot trivia * Text: 

BIGFOOT TRIVIA:


- bigfoot's feet are actually proportional to his height and weight; he is simply larger than most humans, which accounts for the size of his feet


- the term
06-10-05

bigfoot trivia
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: you just solved drews clues * Text: 

drew, you've been coming in late every day for weeks, and yesterday i noticed you put up a poster that says
06-09-05

you just solved drews clues
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: totally post rocked * Text: 

hey i saw this band last night called
06-08-05

totally post rocked
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: smaller breeds * Text: 

FUN FACT: while most larger dog breeds express anger by barking, smaller breeds will often give their owners the finger
06-07-05

smaller breeds
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: six hundred internet jokes * Text: 

this weekend, a truck full of food or other sundry goods turned over and spilled its contents onto the freeway


so far, over six hundred internet jokes have been made about the incident
06-06-05

six hundred internet jokes
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: heroin slushies * Text: 

hey kid, c'mere...you like slushies, huh? let me tell you how to make a REAL slushie


you use heroin! it tastes so good! HEROIN GIVES YOU MORE TOYS HERE IS A BUNCH OF IT!!!!


the main danger of city living, as taught to me by suburban elementary school
06-05-05

heroin slushies
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: pure tacos here * Text: 

I AM IN EXCELLENT SHAPE


PURE TACOS HERE
06-04-05

pure tacos here
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the role of vegetables * Text: 

and see, man, when you buy that asparagus, you're just getting deeper in debt to the man, it's like i was saying: the vegetables are all just a code


dear dude in the grocery store: if i wanted to have some philosophical discussion about the role of vegetables in government-based slavery, i'd just go back to college
06-03-05

the role of vegetables
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: some of those bumper stickers * Text: 

FUN FACT: take some of those bumper stickers off your car
06-02-05

some of those bumper stickers
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: seals for sale * Text: 

the other day i dreamed that i was at the pet store and they had seals for sale


i got pressured into buying one and as i walked home with it, i thought
06-01-05

seals for sale
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Toothpaste For Dinner archives (by month):

2014: jan : feb : mar : apr
2013: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2012: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2011: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2010: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2009: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2008: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2007: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2006: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2005: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2004: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec