Toothpaste For Dinner archives (by month):
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2005: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2004: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2005: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2004: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
ACTUAL WORK CONVERSATION* well, the way things have been going lately, i bet canada is gonna secede and become a separate country here in a little while *last week i went around trying to get into conversations with as many people as possible, just so i could say this to them
GARDENING TIP: if your dog has a habit of trampling or eating your vegetable plants, grind him up and sprinkle him on the garden at a ratio of 1/4 cup dog to 1 gallon water. he will be an excellent source of nitrogen and phosphorous for your growing plants
HERE I SIT CHEEKS A FLEXIN GIVIN BIRTH TO ANOTHER MULTINATIONAL OIL COMPANY
from the time i was little, i wanted to spend my days in a six-foot square, being berated by people who hate their lives, and now my dream has finally come true
jets spray chemical trails behind them. the government is on the verge of collapse. a plane did not hit the pentagon. invest in gold because the dollar will be worthless next year WE MIGHT BELIEVE YOU IF YOU WEREN'T WEARING A XENA T-SHIRT
some days i wonder if pretentious people in england use the american spellings of words and say "seeya later" instead of "cheers" that's my favorite color, eh nigel?
so why'd you quit your last job i had to get out of the office game, man too many other people sellin products, too much heat
my glaucoma is gone MY CANCER STOPPED HURTING FUN FACT: in addition to its uses as a fiber source, the flowers of the hemp plant can be smoked to produce psychotropic effects
MY FUNK NAME: facetious jeremiah reynolds WHAT'S YOUR FUNK NAME
TO: all.employees@work.com SUBJ: weather it is a nice day, let's have work outside today if you guys behave i'll get out the parachute
CLICK HERE TO FIND CHRISTIAN SINGLES ONLINE
well, really, i've been hoping for months that someone would trick me into looking at a picture of a gaping rectum on my computer at work
i see london, i see france i see political refugees being forced to wear shiny european raver pants please help my people
it smells like god in here / so take off all your robes
well, yeah, i do know how hard you work, that's why i want to be unemployed when i grow up
FUN FACT: i liked school, up until the second grade, when i got glasses and could suddenly read everything that was going on, and realized that school was a building where children are treated like idiots and forced to do useless work all day so their parents can go to work
so, what made you decide to come interview with us, over other companies well, my first choice was picking oranges for two bucks an hour, but those damn immigrants didn't leave any openings, so i thought, "well, guess i'll go get a white-collar office job"
dude this sucks the other day i saw a documentary on somalia, which has not had a government for years, and is controlled by heavily armed warlords let's send all our eighteen-year-old "anarchists" there for a month and see if they'll get jobs when they come back
we are prepared to offer you a good deal on long distance well, i don't know...i eat my scabs, does this affect the terms of your offer? before you answer, let me clarify, i actually peel them off of my body and chew them up, it is not a figure of speech, perhaps it will be extra for my long distance call charges, a small scab surcharge
I AM YOUR DAD - starving people in china, india, etc. - must appreciate this stale work donut i brought home for you - questions??
this may be the most important invention of the 21st century: the cubicle glory hole, or CUBE HOLE for short
FANTASY COCKTAIL LEAGUE: SEASON 3 the "alabama surprise": put 1 1/2 oz. whiskey into short glass. fill to top with chicken gravy and serve warm. surprise, i'm drunk again
ahhhh, summer comes to campus-area columbus ohio, and the bums thaw out and begin to ripen in the hot, humid air
i like darth vader lucas is not so good FUN FACT: did you know that, in most major cities, scrabble club doubles as star wars club?
FUN FACT: did you know that the sound most people call "silence" is actually the sound that mountain lions make when they walk around outside your house?
i have been getting reports of young people going unconscious and hallucinating for eight, ten, even twelve hours at a time! that's why, earlier today, i signed into law a bill making this dangerous "sleep" illegal in all fifty states
movie quote ha ha, another movie quote!
iiii am the ghooooost of christmas fuuuture! this year you are getting some sweaters! SPOOOOOKY SWEATERRRRS! clank clank god dammit
the other day i took my car to get an oil change after i dropped my car off i went out back and stole all the change out of the employees' cars thanks guys
tiny little spike limbed people dance on your notebook covered in metal writing font metal music
so, you want three hundred bucks for this? that's not bad...what games do you have on it well, right now i only have one, it's called "wait for the internet to load"
Toothpaste For Dinner archives (by month):
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2005: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2004: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2005: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2004: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
