Superpoop: 2014
Toothpaste For Dinner archives (by month):

2014: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov
2013: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2012: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2011: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2010: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2009: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2008: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2007: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2006: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2005: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2004: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
 

Toothpaste For Dinner comic: cats hate you * Text: 

cats: somewhere, one is thinking right now about how much it hates you
04-30-05

cats hate you

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: selecting a printer * Text: 

selecting a printer is a daunting task. inkjet or laser? a fancy one, or a budget model? fortunately, there is an easy way to find which printer would be best for you: find the biggest one you can sneak home from work, take it home, and plug it into your computer. congratulations! your search is now over.
04-29-05

selecting a printer

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: toxic hell dust * Text: 

tonight at eleven...


snow: winter wonderland or TOXIC HELL DUST?!? tune in tonight to see how this silent killer may destroy your family and all your possessions...and how you can stop it
04-28-05

toxic hell dust

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: five minute rule * Text: 

what


five minute rule, dude


FUN FACT:


the
04-27-05

five minute rule

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: car problems * Text: 

sorry i missed the meeting this morning, i had car problems


what happened to your car


every time i got into it to come to work i remembered how much i hate my job and i had to get out of it and go inside for a while
04-26-05

car problems

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: alcohol dulls the mind * Text: 

RRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrr


some people think alcohol dulls the mind, but my neighbors have shown me that alcohol is a powerful motivator for yelling at passers-by, punching each other, or cutting holes into your deck with a chainsaw at a quarter past midnight
04-25-05

alcohol dulls the mind

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: family career planning * Text: 

son, this hurts me more than it hurts you...but i am not putting you down until you promise not to go to art school
04-24-05

family career planning

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: take your hamster to work day * Text: 

and over here is where i spend most of my work day, in this cubicle


well, yeah, i guess it is proportionately smaller than your cage, and no, i don't get to throw my poop around everywhere either


thanks for pointing that out
04-23-05

take your hamster to work day

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: i would tow 500 cars * Text: 

oh, i-i would tow five hundred cars and i-i would tow five hundred more


just to be-e the man who sold them all to a chop shop and spent all his profits on specialty porn
04-22-05

i would tow 500 cars

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: extra meat extra mayo * Text: 

hey mike...extra meat extra mayo


FUN FACT: when i worked in a sub shop,
04-21-05

extra meat extra mayo

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: tricember * Text: 

we will begin withdrawing troops on the fourteenth of tricember
04-20-05

tricember

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: drinkin bottles of honey * Text: 

here is a rhyme i made up to describe what my daily life is like:
04-19-05

drinkin bottles of honey

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: bucket of grapes * Text: 

now stick your hand...into this BUCKET OF GRAPES


ewww gross


don't be scared, they're really just eyeballs
04-18-05

bucket of grapes

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: blame you for coming up with it * Text: 

well, here's what i was thinking: how about we water down your ideas and pay no attention to anything you say, and then when the project fails, we'll blame you for coming up with it
04-17-05

blame you for coming up with it

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: belize barbados bhutan bali * Text: 

let's see, there's belize, barbados, bhutan, bali, borneo, belgium, brazil, belarus, bermudas, and nyquil


FUN FACT: when i can't sleep at night, i think of all the countries that begin with a certain letter, and then drink nyquil until i pass out
04-16-05

belize barbados bhutan bali

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: croast * Text: 

CROAST. v. any cooking process which results in food that tastes like crap.
04-15-05

croast

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: you should clean out your computer * Text: 

drew, when i opened up the presentation you prepared, instead of the
04-14-05

you should clean out your computer

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the boss gets a yellow card * Text: 

this is your written warning for asking me to complete a two-week project in the space of four hours


another infraction will result in the immediate removal of all solitaire software from your computer, including freecell
04-13-05

the boss gets a yellow card

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: schroedingers decaf * Text: 

hey is that regular or decaf


no one knows whether it is regular or decaf! there is a fifty percent chance of each, and until we can taste it, we must assume the coffee to simultaneously be both regular and decaf
04-12-05

schroedingers decaf

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: past like level twelve * Text: 

son, i found this in your room...have you been building up blocks but leaving one column open so you can clear four lines at once with the tall skinny block?


i think we both know that strategy won't work past like level twelve
04-11-05

past like level twelve

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: double leggin * Text: 

this complicated food maneuver, which involves holding a turkey leg in each hand while you walk around eating them, is known locally as
04-10-05

double leggin

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: touchin me balls * Text: 

hey partner...looks like you gotta steering wheel in your pants, does it bother you?


arrrr, it's touchin' me balls
04-09-05

touchin me balls

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the first rule * Text: 

the first rule of work club is stop coming into my cubicle and talking to me all day at work club
04-08-05

the first rule

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: how to embarrass * Text: 

HOW TO EMBARRASS A SURLY TEENAGER


head like a hole black as your soul la la la la woooooooooo something something give you control


look up the lyrics to some songs by his favorite band, then the next time you go out in public with them, dance a jig and sing
04-07-05

how to embarrass

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the cheese grid * Text: 

because i have been spending most of my work time on researching and tasking cheese, this month's finance report will not be presented today


instead, i will reveal to you...THE CHEESE GRID. a two-dimensional grid whereupon cheeses are placed according to their flavor and stinkiness


now, do any of you have a favorite cheese? let me point it out on the grid for you
04-06-05

the cheese grid

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: five to seven times * Text: 

i take my coffee like i take a dump:


a very dark brown liquid five to seven times daily
04-05-05

five to seven times

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: my solemn duty * Text: 

as a user of INTERNET(TM) it is my solemn duty to inform you that what you have written online is, in fact, incorrect
04-04-05

my solemn duty

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: zero tolerance katamari * Text: 

this year we've already had six students who have threatened to roll other students up in a katamari


as principal, i think we need to institute a zero tolerance policy towards these dangerous, sticky japanese balls in order to facilitate a safe learning environment for our students
04-03-05

zero tolerance katamari

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: i hate bubbles * Text: 

i hate bubbles
04-02-05

i hate bubbles

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: creamo * Text: 

i am going to start a new music/fashion genre by pouring half+half onto mopey teenagers


it will be called...
04-01-05

creamo

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Toothpaste For Dinner archives (by month):

2014: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov
2013: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2012: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2011: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2010: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2009: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2008: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2007: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2006: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2005: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2004: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec