Superpoop: 2014
Toothpaste For Dinner archives (by month):

2014: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov
2013: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2012: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2011: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2010: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2009: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2008: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2007: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2006: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2005: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2004: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2003: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2002: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
 

Toothpaste For Dinner comic: karaoke overdubs * Text: 

don't speak


i know what cher thinkin'


whenever i feel bad about doing twenty takes just to get a backup vocal right, i go to the karaoke bar and listen to drunk women sing mid-90s alt-rock radio songs three semitones flat
03-31-04

karaoke overdubs

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: one eye closed * Text: 

no matter how long you keep one eye closed at work, your ability to keep one eye open while you sleep at night will not improve
03-30-04

one eye closed

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: we are the rowboats * Text: 

we are the rowboats row, row row row we are the rowboats row, row row row (lower pitch) we are the rowboats
03-29-04

we are the rowboats

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: welcome to the midwest * Text: 

how it's spelled


le roy, IL


versailles, KY


bellefontaine, OH


lima, OH


how it's pronounced


lee-roy


ver-sails


bell-fountain


lie-muh (like the bean)
03-28-04

welcome to the midwest

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: wireless internet * Text: 

OUT: wireless internet


IN: being able to go and get a cup of coffee without having to check your goddamn email
03-27-04

wireless internet

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: this report is great * Text: 

this report is great! all it needs are a few minor corrections and the title page altered to look like i wrote it, and it will be ready to turn in to my own supervisor
03-26-04

this report is great

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the stockholm syndrome * Text: 

i can never meet people in this town, how do you meet people around here


i guess you have never heard of a little thing called the stockholm syndrome
03-25-04

the stockholm syndrome

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: robarb rap debut * Text: 

your rhymes are like cats cause i cut them up and freeze them to eat later
03-24-04

robarb rap debut

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: audio terms explained * Text: 

audio terms explained: a pictorial guide


passive attenuation


can you turn it down


ok


sweepable EQ


oxygen-free copper cable


it sounds exactly the same as any other cable
03-23-04

audio terms explained

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the masturbinator * Text: 

one day the governator of california will be found waxing the banana in some park, and from that point forward he will be known as...


THE MASTURBINATOR
03-22-04

the masturbinator

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: throw this away * Text: 

i keep reading and re-reading my resume but i do not see any section which says
03-21-04

throw this away

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: modern rock * Text: 

here you go, a steaming hot twenty ounce cup of nonstop modern rock
03-20-04

modern rock

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: cold ohio winters * Text: 

cold ohio winters always bring back memories, like how it was just as ridiculously cold last year as it is now
03-19-04

cold ohio winters

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: kool keith lunch * Text: 

DREW come over for lunch we will have raisin bran and zebras to munch


no thanks keith, maybe another time


kool keith: too creative to ignore, yet too schizophrenic to be more than acquaintances with
03-18-04

kool keith lunch

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: history of message boards * Text: 

message boards were created in 1974 by a man who saw that the settings of school and home did not provide adequate opportunities for adolescents to argue with one another
03-17-04

history of message boards

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: literature jockey * Text: 

shuffle shuffle


while in college, i attempted to create a new art form where books are rearranged live - unfortunately, the medium did not become popular, and my brilliant mix of
03-16-04

literature jockey

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: my love is so great * Text: 

my love is so great that a thousand men could not keep me from stalking you
03-15-04

my love is so great

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: only one solution * Text: 

the earth is overcrowded. cell phones are intrusive and annoying. there can be only one solution.


this cell phone renders its users permanently sterile
03-14-04

only one solution

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: block rockin beats * Text: 

GIMMIE NOTHER ONE OF THOSE BLOCK ROCKIN BEATS


how to get the people who work in the coffeeshop to stop playing cheesy techno: at the end of every breakdown, stand up and yell
03-13-04

block rockin beats

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: a cast iron pan * Text: 

you see, son, love is like a cast-iron pan


it sounds like a good idea at first but then it turns black and you can never wash it and eventually you just get tired of messing with it so you throw it out in the alley
03-12-04

a cast iron pan

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: feliz navidad * Text: 

feliz navidad! ba-ba-ba, ba! feliz navidad! ba-ba-ba, ba


FUN FACT: did you know that this song is now stuck in your head
03-11-04

feliz navidad

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: emo kids * Text: 

how many emo kids does it take to change a light bulb


give up


the answer is it doesn't matter because they are all cut up in barrels in my basement
03-10-04

emo kids

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: choice of a drew generation * Text: 

coffee: the choice of a drew generation
03-09-04

choice of a drew generation

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: my answer to everything * Text: 

would you like cream with that


my people are in bondage! HOW CAN I HAVE CREAM WHEN MY PEOPLE ARE IN BONDAGE
03-08-04

my answer to everything

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the eagles at least three * Text: 

welcome to the hotel california


BREAKING NEWS:


the radio format formerly known as
03-07-04

the eagles at least three

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the existential playset * Text: 

lego man why are you here? THERE IS NO REASON FOR IT


PREPARE TO BE EXISTENTIALIZED


if i ever have kids, they will get THE EXISTENTIAL PLAYSET for christmas


it is composed of all their original toys, plus a shop vac, so that occasionally one of them will get sucked into the void for no reason
03-06-04

the existential playset

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: mc low self esteem * Text: 

oh my god, did i really just rhyme
03-05-04

mc low self esteem

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: neds atomic laundry bin * Text: 

every time i see the guy with the
03-04-04

neds atomic laundry bin

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the chinese new year * Text: 

man, i keep writing
03-03-04

the chinese new year

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: procter and gamble * Text: 

WE ARE ALL BIG PAINFUL HEMORRHOIDS


95% of the employees at procter and gamble major consumer goods manufacturer
03-02-04

procter and gamble

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: multi billionaire * Text: 

if i were a multibillionaire i would hire monkeys to fly tiny planes into the stratosphere and spray enough hairspray around there to create a hole in the ozone layer so ohio is always warm and sunny
03-01-04

multi billionaire

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Toothpaste For Dinner archives (by month):

2014: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov
2013: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2012: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2011: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2010: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2009: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2008: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2007: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2006: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2005: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2004: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2003: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2002: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec