Crudbump: Rap & Beats
Toothpaste For Dinner archives (by month):

2014: jan : feb : mar : apr
2013: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2012: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2011: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2010: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2009: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2008: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2007: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2006: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2005: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2004: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2003: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2002: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
 

Toothpaste For Dinner comic: dot complainer * Text: 

DOT COMPLAINER. anyone too stupid to sell millions of dollars of tech stocks before the dot-com crash


dear blog, i can't believe i only make $40k a year. my stocks were worth blah blah blah
06-30-04

dot complainer
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: eyeball dream * Text: 

craaaaaap


do you ever have this dream? if so, watch out for my eyeballs, i don't know where they are
06-29-04

eyeball dream
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: ipod for meat * Text: 

i want an ipod that works for meat


now playing: steak (6.21 bites remaining)
06-28-04

ipod for meat
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: shirkin hard * Text: 

hey there, partner...are you shirkin' hard, or hardly shirkin'?
06-27-04

shirkin hard
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: a date huh * Text: 

a date, huh? i went on one of those once, it was pretty depressing
06-26-04

a date huh
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: smells like a segway * Text: 

have you seen new watch computers


man, that smells like a segway


i have found that the best way to describe expensive gadgets that will fail horribly is
06-25-04

smells like a segway
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: blog blog blog * Text: 

blog, blog, blog


sometimes when people at work talk to me it is a horrible weblog i can not escape
06-24-04

blog blog blog
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: washtub bass * Text: 

bomp bomp bomp


on
06-23-04

washtub bass
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: six shots in a row * Text: 

really? six shots all in a row? that is awesome, let me take you out at lunch today for a glass of SHUT UP


what do you say
06-22-04

six shots in a row
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: tucky grammar * Text: 

-tucky: the suffix used by ohioans to describe a part of town that is more rural than the one they live in


didja hear about the guy in grovetucky* who was running a prostitution ring from his junkyard


*grove city, OH
06-21-04

tucky grammar
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: birkensocks * Text: 

how do you make the coffee girl mad: part one of a 437-part series


how ya doin, birkensocks


when you notice she is wearing sandals with socks, address her as
06-20-04

birkensocks
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: vanity license plate * Text: 

i was just calling to see what a vanity license plate costs


it'll be forty-five dollars a year, plus ninety percent of your dignity
06-19-04

vanity license plate
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: alley dog * Text: 

here you go alley dog


whenever i get sad about not having a dog, i give an entire package of ground beef to the dog in the alley, and think about all the crap i don't have to clean up
06-18-04

alley dog
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: angstronaut * Text: 

unit fourteen to houston, this helmet is TOTALLY UNCOMFORTABLE, over


i can't believe i have to wear these pants either, over


i want to be an angstronaut when i grow up
06-17-04

angstronaut
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: personal security bulletin * Text: 

PERSONAL SECURITY BULLETIN: do not trust any of the following people


men in tank tops


people who quote movies


duhh fart


come on man


people whose cars be broke and just need a dollar


grad students
06-16-04

personal security bulletin
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the two hundred dollar question * Text: 

and now, for two hundred dollars, answer this: why don't you quit trying to show me you are cool and just bring me my steak
06-15-04

the two hundred dollar question
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: barber logic puzzle * Text: 

Q: you live in a small town with two barbers. one has a good haircut and one has a terrible haircut. which barber do you go to?


A: neither. you let your hair grow out until it is an unruly mess, because the last time you got your hair cut, the barber called you
06-14-04

barber logic puzzle
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the tired album * Text: 

have you heard
06-13-04

the tired album
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: brood x * Text: 

one of my most vivid childhood memories: 1987, spring..the seventeen-year cicadas emerge from the ground


eeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee


man, cicadas are assholes
06-12-04

brood x
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: pornin around * Text: 

when pornographic models try to look like they're doing something innocuous while they pose without clothes, i like to think that they refer to it as
06-11-04

pornin around
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: try our angry housekeeper blend * Text: 

here you go


do you need room for pee
06-10-04

try our angry housekeeper blend
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: just a typo * Text: 

mr. robarb, your resume looks impressive, but none of us are able to figure out why it says
06-09-04

just a typo
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: mr wizards cable bill * Text: 

bobby, you may be wondering why i invited you over here today...we're going to do a little experiment called
06-08-04

mr wizards cable bill
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: concealed handguns * Text: 

it's now legal to conceal a handgun in ohio and carry it around wherever you like


the only explanation i can offer is so when abortion is illegal, pregnant teenagers can easily commit suicide


god the future looks promising
06-07-04

concealed handguns
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: wee you take me hi yo * Text: 

wee you take we hi-yo (bee da day diddle day)


one thing nobody tells you when you decide between buying a washer and going to the laundromat is that if you go to the laundromat you will hear radio hits from four years ago from the second you enter until the second you leave
06-06-04

wee you take me hi yo
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: walkie talkies * Text: 

whoa


skreeeeeeoooowwwww


parenting tip: if you ever buy your children walkie-talkies, they will get bored with talking on them within 3.4 seconds, and spend the next two years turning them both all the way up and holding down the mic button to make feedback sounds
06-05-04

walkie talkies
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: community service * Text: 

we really appreciate your help here at the school, drew


oh, it's no problem, i gotta do this community service for my proba-uh, i just gotta do it, you know


in college i got a scholarship which required that i do community service, and wherever i volunteered, i pretended as though i was forced to do it by some judge
06-04-04

community service
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: prime phone number * Text: 

whoa, it's a prime number! i'll call you soon


here's my phone number


even though i had to wait three months to get my phone number, the number of nerdy friends i have made since have been worth it
06-03-04

prime phone number
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: chihuahua songs * Text: 

just as setting your guitar on fire does not make you jimi hendrix, writing awkward and dramatic songs with your chihuahua does not make you stephim merritt
06-02-04

chihuahua songs
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: clean your glasses * Text: 

if you are like me and obsessively clean your glasses, raise your hand


then raise your other hand (because you have to keep both sides even)
06-01-04

clean your glasses
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Toothpaste For Dinner archives (by month):

2014: jan : feb : mar : apr
2013: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2012: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2011: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2010: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2009: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2008: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2007: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2006: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2005: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2004: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2003: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2002: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec