Toothpaste For Dinner archives (by month):
2010: jan . : . feb . : . mar
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2005: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2004: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2010: jan . : . feb . : . mar
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2005: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2004: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
you like to poop, don't you yes, we will help we will help sugar-free candy means well, but it does not always make your life better
the only thing better than a banjo is two banjos, and a pair of robot arms to help you play them at the same time
if my calculations are correct, the average hot dog is so slippery that there is a 20% chance it will be dropped on the floor, thus necessitating ten hot dogs per package for every eight buns
urp when scientists and doctors recommend "fish oil" supplements, they often forget to warn people of the horiffic side effect: "tuna burping"
the meeting of everyone in the world except me, 2003: everyone!! LET'S ALL GET THE FLU!!!
i hereby declare the unit of boredom in music to be known as the tortoise!* *one tortoise is exactly equal to the boredom induced by listening to one full album by tortoise
what this man doesn't know is that his pizza toppings have been secretly replaced with poisoned pizza toppings also his brake lines have been cut
no, don't order more bean bags we are not out of stock NOOOOOOO while some see online business as a high-potential marketplace, i frequently have horrifying dreams about fictional merchandise and supply chain problems
when it starts to get cold, do the people who work at the renaissance faire migrate south onward, you beastlies and crazies! ONWARD TO BRAZIL!!! hoorah
USE PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION AREN'T YOU DYING TO WAIT OUT SIDE FOR TWENTY MINUTES IN JANUARY SO YOU CAN SHARE YOUR SEAT WITH AN OBESE SCHIZOPHRENIC RIDE THE BUS
we have reviewed the results of the war and are pleased to let you know that jessica lynch sent a smart bomb down the chimney of a biological weapons factory moments before pulling saddam out of the spider hole with her bare hands MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
hey i like your shirt where'd you get it? my favorite answers to this question: 1. i found it balled up in the back seat of a taxicab, covered in blood 2. oh, i just beat up some old dude and took it...isn't it cool 3. thank you, now sir if i could ask you for a favor, see, i am stranded, sir, just one dollar would help
coffee: because there is no reason to be miserable every day until you die
welcome to cincinnati METRO SECTION: WHAT'S GOING ON IN TOWN all the independent businesses are closing, everyone cool moved out of town years ago. NO CONCERTS ART SHOWS OR INTERESTING PEOPLE ANYWHERE. TRY NOT TO DIE FROM BEING DEPRESSED BECAUSE WE NEED YOUR TAX MONEY TO BUILD A NEW STADIUM
yo why don't you plot the graph of y equals your mom squared
look at me! i am PROCRASTINATRON, THE ROBOT WHO WAITS UNTIL THE LAST MOMENT TO DO EVERYTHING! BEEP BOP BLOOP
TO APPLY FOR THIS JOB: complete this application, enclose your dignity, sense of self-worth, and a copy of your drivers license, and mail to us
no! no! no! no! instead of having kids, i am going to just get a parrot, and at age two i will teach it to say "no". age five, "why"; age thirteen, "i hate you dad"; age nineteen, "academic probation"
there is a slight dip in the economy! FIRE EVERYONE!!! PARTY AT MY PLACE what happens to people who major in "communications"? they use the skills learned in college to succeed in the workplace
hukka hukka ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch one music style i will never understand: drum and bass (if i wanted to hear loud chattering and syncopated rattles, i would set my air conditioner outside in the winter and turn it on)
NOT COOL: pretending to talk loudly on a cell phone to make fun of people who talk loudly on their cell phones OH YEAH SELL THE STOCK, NINETEEN, BUY THE OTHER talk talk talk COOL: dousing cell phone users with gas and setting them alight AAAAAAAAGHHHHH
okay, now move your arms up, and down, and up, and down, and up, and down, now reach, reach, reach, reach, now give me a dollar introducing the revolutionary new exercise system: HOBOFLEX!!
i have uncovered the compound responsible for people dressing like hipsters it is called "low self esteem"
grrrrRRRRRrrrrrrrrrRRRRRrrrr as you can see, my modifications have turned this workstation into a low-to-the-ground SPEED ANIMAL!!! go on, load up the internet, feel the pickup on this thing
welcome to mister frotteur's neighborhood
jesus pied for your sins
i am going to run for governor in 2004 and my platform is going to be "deport ani difranco"
my name is jim, i will be your server today, can i get you started with a nice hot cup of doe this is only a preview of the best restaurant idea ever: a 24-hour venison-only diner
go on, play vith it now, you hef fun the worst part of my seventh birthday was when i realized that my grandpa was only one of thousands who were too cheap to buy a real slinky and instead took an old, rigid truck spring from his garage and gave it to me instead
Toothpaste For Dinner archives (by month):
2010: jan . : . feb . : . mar
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2005: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2004: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2010: jan . : . feb . : . mar
2009: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2008: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2007: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2006: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2005: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec
2004: jan . : . feb . : . mar . : . apr . : . may . : . jun . : . jul . : . aug . : . sep . : . oct . : . nov . : . dec