Superpoop: 2014
Toothpaste For Dinner archives (by month):

2014: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep
2013: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2012: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2011: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2010: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2009: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2008: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2007: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2006: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2005: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2004: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2003: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2002: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
 

Toothpaste For Dinner comic: bathroom screws * Text: 

i have found the best way to remove those bathroom screws that only turn one way!! the method is to set the bathroom on fire
03-30-03

bathroom screws
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: human clips * Text: 

when alligators connect electronic things to each other do they use HUMAN CLIPS
03-30-03

human clips
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: paint * Text: 

paint tastes terrible
03-30-03

paint
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: stevie wonder on a bike * Text: 

snozzz


last night i dreamed that i was driving and stevie wonder rode a bike by me on the right and smacked my care with the cane and all i could think was, man i am glad this is not a leased car
03-30-03

stevie wonder on a bike
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the gallery of love * Text: 

welcome to the gallery of drawings i screwed up
03-30-03

the gallery of love
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: a stupid job * Text: 

WILL WORK FOR 30K+, BENEFITS


why is it so goddamn hard to find a stupid job
03-27-03

a stupid job
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: always always always * Text: 

always scan your drawings right after you make them, always always ALWAYS
03-27-03

always always always
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: feral horses * Text: 

feral horses could not change my opinions
03-27-03

feral horses
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: not on the menu * Text: 

i would like a cup of ill-conceived facial piercings and a
03-27-03

not on the menu
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: palette knives * Text: 

are you threatening me with art supplies


palette knives are the worst because you can't bring them on airplanes yet they don't cut anything
03-27-03

palette knives
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: all the way crossed * Text: 

and i can't even draw it either


i hate when men sit and cross their legs all the way
03-25-03

all the way crossed
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: because we have money * Text: 

why do we buy prepackaged food, which are copies of foods from impoverished countries that can not afford food?? IT IS BECAUSE WE HAVE MONEY
03-25-03

because we have money
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: crack house crack heads * Text: 

dear everyone: including references to crack in something you say does not mean it is automatically funny
03-25-03

crack house crack heads
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: pubic service announcement * Text: 

heh heh


DEPARTMENT OF PUB IC WORKS
03-25-03

pubic service announcement
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: smoking moron * Text: 

if you look like a moron when you smoke it pretty much defeats the purpose (re: the guy i saw yesterday holding a cigarette with his ring and pinky fingers)
03-25-03

smoking moron
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: comeeunachadawanka * Text: 

comeeunachadawanka, comeeunachadawanka


it took me like three years to figure out what michael stipe was singing in
03-23-03

comeeunachadawanka
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: do people still like u2 * Text: 

i have been on every station, i have whined about every cause oh, every cause


but i still haven't found what i'm looking for
03-23-03

do people still like u2
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: manly women * Text: 

sylvia plath is stupid


this tea is wonderful


oh god yes that's the kind my yoga teacher drinks


i heart middle aged manly women who shout instead of talk
03-23-03

manly women
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: meatless corn dogs * Text: 

meatless corn dogs are the best food science ever invented
03-23-03

meatless corn dogs
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: a science mystery * Text: 

A SCIENCE MYSTERY:


if you do not use the correct
03-20-03

a science mystery
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: another springtime * Text: 

another springtime, another year i have driven with my head outside the window because my windshield squirty things don't work
03-20-03

another springtime
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: canada and the us * Text: 

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN CANADA AND THE U.S.


american kids are forced to play team sports


hey moose


canadian kids are forced to appear in television shows to be shown in the united states
03-20-03

canada and the us
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: lookit mah fangers * Text: 

man lookit mah fangers


yer fangers look weird man


there is nothing better than rednecks at the laundromat


not shown: kids with rat-tails running around, screaming
03-20-03

lookit mah fangers
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: welcome to your new home * Text: 

FISH welcome to your new home
03-20-03

welcome to your new home
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: daniel johnston is awesome * Text: 

speeding motorcycle, won't you change me
03-18-03

daniel johnston is awesome
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: state of the union * Text: 

and finally, having a war will make my crotch more effective


the state of the union
03-18-03

state of the union
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the story of my life * Text: 

man, i love that book it's like the story of my life


whenever i see someone reading a book in public i love to go up to them and tell them, man, i love that book, it's like the story of my life.
03-18-03

the story of my life
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: uncle natalie * Text: 

uncle natalie needs to take a pee-pee
03-18-03

uncle natalie
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: weblogs can kiss my ass * Text: 

just because google bought a weblog company it does not mean that posting links to new york times articles is any sort of revolution
03-18-03

weblogs can kiss my ass
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: croissant wrenches * Text: 

in france do they have croissant wrenches
03-16-03

croissant wrenches
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: fat hamster * Text: 

i thought this fat hamster at the pet store was real cute and then i bought it and seven more hamsters came out
03-16-03

fat hamster
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: in france * Text: 

so in france they use commas and decimal points backward?


yes


so do girls have colons and butts have periods there
03-16-03

in france
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: sanford * Text: 

mumble mumble


the pens i use to draw pictures are called
03-16-03

sanford
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: cookies * Text: 

cookies and porn
03-13-03

cookies
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: if jesus loved you * Text: 

l-l-l-let me r-r-re-re-read you a q-q-q-q-q-quote


tonight i went to a coffee house and there was a guy there talking about religion and he had an uncontrollable stutter
03-13-03

if jesus loved you
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: poverty and filth * Text: 

if you have been thinking about going to a third world country, consider a trip to a laundromat instead


you can experience poverty and filth for a fraction of the price
03-13-03

poverty and filth
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: smooth jazz * Text: 

smooth jazz makes me ill
03-13-03

smooth jazz
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: zipper rapper * Text: 

rivvit rivvit


when i was a kid i used to move the zipper back and forth real fast on my coat and pretend i was a rapper
03-13-03

zipper rapper
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: everybody counts * Text: 

oh man this feels weird


imagine what it would be like to have two eyes!!! so weird


when pirates are little they learn in
03-11-03

everybody counts
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: hazelnut almond crap * Text: 

i hate when i order coffee and it tastes like some hazelnut almond crap
03-11-03

hazelnut almond crap
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: no more burned toast * Text: 

bagelmaster's last stand
03-11-03

no more burned toast
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: worst rap gimmick ever * Text: 

give it up for MC STAPLE GUN
03-11-03

worst rap gimmick ever
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: black boxes * Text: 

if they made the whole plane out of that stuff the pilots would still drink
03-09-03

black boxes
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: every spring * Text: 

every spring i fill this closet with boxes of marshmallow peeps, to last the rest of the year
03-09-03

every spring
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: i will play * Text: 

i will play the guitar through so many pedals that no one can tell if it is good or not
03-09-03

i will play
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: melted cheese vegetable * Text: 

does anyone actually ever make those melted cheese vegetable things on the triscuit box
03-09-03

melted cheese vegetable
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: vortex * Text: 

the part on the back of the head where men go bald is called the
03-09-03

vortex
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: hypercolor * Text: 

hypercolor is the worst invention ever
03-06-03

hypercolor
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: ignore winter * Text: 

if you ignore winter for three months it will go away!!
03-06-03

ignore winter
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: second degree boring * Text: 

jim what are we going to do about the allegations that we made another stupid detective show


i think i can get the d.a. to reduce the charges to second-degree boring
03-06-03

second degree boring
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: something useless * Text: 

presenting the toothpaste bobble head doll


just kidding, do people seriously actually buy those things


if you want something useless to put on a shelf in your house just get a college diploma
03-06-03

something useless
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: you are not henry rollins * Text: 

look at the bar code tattoo on my neck!! it shows i am JUST A PRODUCT OF THIS SICK SOCIETY
03-06-03

you are not henry rollins
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: four hundred million * Text: 

i was sad when i had no friends, until i got on the internet and met four hundred million people with no sense of humor
03-04-03

four hundred million
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: my dad * Text: 

my dad can beat up your dad
03-04-03

my dad
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: puppet shows * Text: 

here is some more work for you!


no here is even more work for you it is due tomorrow


puppet shows at work are wonderful
03-04-03

puppet shows
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the icicle zone * Text: 

every time i see an icicle now i want to murder someone because there will be no evidence! CURSE YOU ROD STERLING
03-04-03

the icicle zone
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: tony * Text: 

this is a song about tony
03-04-03

tony
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: die yuppie scum * Text: 

i found a cut-off t-shirt with the collar torn out in my laundry today, it said DIE YUPPIE SCUM


i would wear it but it is too low-cut, i don't want to look trashy
03-02-03

die yuppie scum
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: gutters * Text: 

i will personally give $1000 to the first person who invents gutters that actually work
03-02-03

gutters
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: my tax return * Text: 

i am blowing my tax return on coffee
03-02-03

my tax return
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: telephone battle * Text: 

TELEPHONE POLE you have met your match!!! PREPARE TO LOSE A BATTLE
03-02-03

telephone battle
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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: touch my doggy * Text: 

TOUCH MY DOGGY
03-02-03

touch my doggy
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Toothpaste For Dinner archives (by month):

2014: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep
2013: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2012: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2011: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2010: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2009: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2008: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2007: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2006: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2005: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2004: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2003: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2002: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec