Superpoop: 2014
Toothpaste For Dinner archives (by month):

2014: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct
2013: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2012: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2011: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2010: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2009: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2008: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2007: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2006: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2005: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2004: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2003: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2002: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
 

Toothpaste For Dinner comic: cry yourself to sleep * Text: 

scientists have discovered that the number of nights per week you cry yourself to sleep is directly proportional to how much you like the lord of the rings
07-31-03

cry yourself to sleep

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: occupational hazards * Text:
07-31-03

occupational hazards

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: three hole punch * Text: 

i may only open a three-hole punch once a year, but every time i do i forget to stand over a garbage can
07-31-03

three hole punch

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: when i die i will go * Text: 

toot toot roar


when i die and go to hell i will be put in a tiny beige office on a conference call with siegfried, roy, and kenny g, and the release button on the phone will not work at all
07-31-03

when i die i will go

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: boss fights * Text: 

keep swinging and i'll buy you another latte


i am going to start a video series called
07-29-03

boss fights

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: hundreds of coworkers * Text: 

DREW can you type? i have forty seven pages of notes i need to send to the district manager by tomorrow


every year, hundreds of coworkers are injured by punches to the head and face caused by asking me to do retarded things for them
07-29-03

hundreds of coworkers

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: roommates are great * Text: 

roommates are great to have


for dinner
07-29-03

roommates are great

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: step outside * Text: 

let's step outside, i really need a secondhand smoke
07-29-03

step outside

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: how extreme a sport * Text: 

HAMSTER how many times have we talked about how you are not allowed to base jump from the book case!! i do not care how extreme a sport it is
07-27-03

how extreme a sport

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: oatmeal out of the box * Text: 

if you do not realize that cashews are the best nuts ever invented you might as well just buy oatmeal and eat it out of the box
07-27-03

oatmeal out of the box

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: what happens to a dream * Text: 

what happens to a dream deferred? does it stink up the building like a fish locked in your desk on your last day of work
07-27-03

what happens to a dream

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: your personal ad * Text: 

your personal ad said you were
07-27-03

your personal ad

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: canadian bacon * Text: 

canadian bacon is full of cholesterol and fat, but with the exchange rate it ends up being only 60% as unhealthy as regular bacon
07-24-03

canadian bacon

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: i found this in your desk * Text: 

i found this in your desk!! you know as well as i do that the rules of the company state that marshmallow fluff must be eaten only on sandwiches, NOT STRAIGHT OUT OF THE JAR
07-24-03

i found this in your desk

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the dot matrix * Text: 

agent trenchcoat you must tear off the perforated edges before it is too late


the dot matrix
07-24-03

the dot matrix

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: you are late again * Text: 

you are late again!!


don't worry, i will leave early to make up for it
07-24-03

you are late again

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: burned coffee * Text: 

sniff


burned coffee is the most terrible smell ever
07-22-03

burned coffee

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: forest fires * Text: 

forest fires are my fault
07-22-03

forest fires

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: my fellow americans * Text: 

my fellow americans, i am pleased to announce that i have signed legislation that outlaws hipsters forever!!! the bombing begins in five minutes
07-22-03

my fellow americans

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: sand up comedy * Text: 

so i just flew in, and man are my arms tired from holding a gun to the pilot's head


another night at the palestinian comedy club
07-22-03

sand up comedy

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: applying for entry level * Text: 

howdy do


INTERVIEW TIP: if you are applying for an entry-level position, try to avoid attending the interview in blackface
07-20-03

applying for entry level

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: eddrew coffeehands * Text: 

i live in a scary old mansion, would you like some coffee


sometimes work gets so boring that i am forced to hold mugs and pull my hands inside my sleeves and become ED-DREW COFFEEHANDS
07-20-03

eddrew coffeehands

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: keyboard guitar * Text: 

i am reasonably sure that the person who invented the strap-on keyboard guitar is the same guy who thought up hypercolor, pogs, car neon, and those ridiculous chairs that you kneel on
07-20-03

keyboard guitar

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: stamp collection * Text: 

do you have a stamp collection!!
07-20-03

stamp collection

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: burned outside food * Text: 

hey everyone, it is summer time!! which means TIME FOR BURNED OUTSIDE FOOD!!!!
07-17-03

burned outside food

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: fake french * Text: 

je deteste la cafe, c?st tres mal pour drinquez en une cuppe, bonjour bonjour


wow where did you learn to speak french


fake french is both easy and fun to speak
07-17-03

fake french

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: only ham cubes * Text: 

i will insist on going to the expensive buffet, and then only eat ham cubes for dinner!!!


yet another reason to never have children
07-17-03

only ham cubes

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: setting off fireworks * Text: 

WOOOO


POP


POP


POP


the only thing better than setting off fireworks is giving fireworks to your drunk neighbors and watching from a distance as they misuse them
07-17-03

setting off fireworks

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: chinese food every day * Text: 

why is it i never realize it is not okay to eat chinese food for lunch at work every day until my stomach tries to eat itself
07-15-03

chinese food every day

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: organic lettuce * Text:
07-15-03

organic lettuce

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: soash * Text: 

m'kay, now what's your soash


the worst abbreviation ever is when telephone people abbreviate
07-15-03

soash

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the final solution * Text: 

the next time you are peeing in a public bathroom and some guy comes over and stands right next to you while you are peeing, just turn around and punch him as hard as you can in the side of his head
07-15-03

the final solution

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: having trouble breathing * Text: 

DOCTOR i am having trouble breathing


really? well, sucks to your ass-mar
07-13-03

having trouble breathing

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: not important enough * Text: 

beep (click) beep (click) beep (click)


if it is not important enough to leave a message DON'T CALL
07-13-03

not important enough

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: standing on th freeway ramp * Text: 

BUMS LIE
07-13-03

standing on th freeway ramp

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the ultimate guide * Text: 

drew presents the ultimate guide to reducing debt and achieving financial stability


it is called
07-13-03

the ultimate guide

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: asleep in the elevator * Text: 

zzzz


sometimes you are so tired you can fall asleep standing up in an elevator next to a coworker who is pretending he did not just drop a giant meat fart in the elevator
07-10-03

asleep in the elevator

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: law and order * Text: 

dun dun dun dun DUN


no one is allowed to play in my band unless they agree to play the law and order theme song at all our shows
07-10-03

law and order

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: switched on bach * Text: 

did people seriously ever like this album
07-10-03

switched on bach

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: you are my dad * Text: 

when i was born my baby mommy put me in a basket and set it on the doorstep of my baby daddy with a note taped to my head that said YOU ARE MY DAD and that is pretty much the reason i am breaking up with you
07-10-03

you are my dad

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: breakdance hamster * Text: 

either you are going to learn to breakdance or you are going to get a job, the choice is yours


i did not buy all that linoleum because i am fond of linoleum
07-08-03

breakdance hamster

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: honkies series 3 * Text: 

HONKIES


i got a bank teller


want to trade for a car salesman
07-08-03

honkies series 3

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: rescheduled meeting * Text: 

i couldn't make the meeting this afternoon so i called the secretary and re-scheduled it for never
07-08-03

rescheduled meeting

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the toothpaste online quiz * Text: 

you are.....RETARDED


congratulations, you have managed to use a worldwide communications network to compare yourself to a movie character!


what are YOU? hit
07-08-03

the toothpaste online quiz

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: drama remixes * Text: 

a fist full of punching makes the medicine go down


i tried out for the drama club in high school but my remixes never made it past dress rehearsal
07-06-03

drama remixes

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: most powerful car sticker * Text: 

i have created the world's most powerful car sticker!! it contains an image of calvin, peeing on an upside down calvin, who in turn is peeing on the first calvin! if applied to a regular car, the sheer force of opinion would cause the entire known universe to explode!!!
07-06-03

most powerful car sticker

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the end of the last album * Text: 

the end of coffee is like the end of the last album your favorite band made before they broke up
07-06-03

the end of the last album

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: wang and dong * Text: 

in china do you think they use
07-06-03

wang and dong

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: i fixed the sign * Text: 

WELCOME TO SUBURBS


WHERE PEOPLE TAKE OUT THEIR ANGER BY DRIVING LIKE MAD MAX
07-03-03

i fixed the sign

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: ran out of sick days * Text: 

i ran out of sick days, so i pulled all the teeth out of my neighbor's body and left it in my house when i burned it down and let the cops find it and call here


did i miss anything at the meeting yesterday
07-03-03

ran out of sick days

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the bathroom smells * Text: 

ugh the bathroom smells terrible


yeah it's almost as if people go in there and just pull down their pants and poop
07-03-03

the bathroom smells

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: toaster sweat * Text: 

i thought i would be okay without an air conditioner until it got so hot even my appliances started sweating
07-03-03

toaster sweat

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: a song about the meeting * Text: 

the conference room is packed! about forty people was there! the department meeting was a success! it WHUPPED A LLAMA'S ASS WITH A BELT!!!
07-01-03

a song about the meeting

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: e in email * Text: 

DID YOU KNOW:


that the
07-01-03

e in email

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: i would give you a piece * Text: 

HAMSTER i would give you a piece of cake but i know you will just hold it in your cheek for days before eating it
07-01-03

i would give you a piece

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: take a picture * Text: 

hey! HEY! WHY DONTCHA QUIT STARING AT THAT SCREEN! take a picture, it will last longer
07-01-03

take a picture

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Toothpaste For Dinner archives (by month):

2014: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct
2013: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2012: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2011: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2010: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2009: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2008: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2007: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2006: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2005: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2004: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2003: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2002: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec