Crudbump: Rap & Beats
Toothpaste For Dinner archives (by month):

2014: jan : feb : mar : apr
2013: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2012: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2011: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2010: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2009: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2008: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2007: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2006: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2005: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2004: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2003: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2002: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
 

Toothpaste For Dinner comic: coffee vs wine * Text: 

work coffee is like prison wine - it tastes like trash and burned leaves but it is better than nothing
04-29-03

coffee vs wine
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: it would be a better movie * Text: 

COPIER why does space jam have a cartoon rabbit and a basketball player but PAPER JAM just stars you and my foot kicking you
04-29-03

it would be a better movie
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: pop tart sauce * Text: 

i have invented POP TART SAUCE!!


now you can have the doughy brown sugar-ish taste of pop tarts on any food you like!
04-29-03

pop tart sauce
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: senators please listen * Text: 

there should be a federal law making it mandatory to give raises to employees who do not have internet access at work
04-29-03

senators please listen
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: basketball or bjork * Text: 

a ninya heeiiia sho wuh BEEE a day-uh


is this stupid-haired unintelligible person a pro basketball player, or just bjork


it may be a mystery science will never solve
04-27-03

basketball or bjork
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: eight fifty an hour * Text: 

if you are the person who makes copies on the copier does that make you the copier copier


no, it just makes you 8.50 an hour
04-27-03

eight fifty an hour
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: no you can not keep it * Text: 

NO you can not keep it hamster, probably his parents are wondering where he is already
04-27-03

no you can not keep it
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: smooth jazz cafeteria * Text: 

toot toot


honk honk


the last place i worked at had smooth jazz playing in the employee cafeteria constantly, i guess it was there in case your spirit was not already broken by working with a bunch of jerks
04-27-03

smooth jazz cafeteria
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the only good thing * Text: 

EEEEE EEE EEE


the only good thing about speakerphones is cupping your hands over the microphone to make feedback
04-27-03

the only good thing
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: current interest rate * Text: 

well, my current credit card has an interest rate of SUCK MY BALLS AND DON'T CALL BACK, what rate is the card you want to give me?
04-24-03

current interest rate
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: five minute glory * Text: 

i have created the ultimate in travel tools: the FIVE MINUTE GLORY HOLD WIZARD!
04-24-03

five minute glory
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: i have found a wmd * Text: 

unit twelve to base, i have found a WMD!! repeat, i have found a waffle of mass deliciousness! current location is my stomach, over
04-24-03

i have found a wmd
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: october 01 outtake * Text: 

man that was awesome


when people watch movies why do they never say,
04-24-03

october 01 outtake
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: one hand on chest one out * Text: 

every rock ballad which sounds like the snare drum is in a cave makes me want to do this
04-24-03

one hand on chest one out
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: astrology scroll * Text: 

sometimes at the grocery i just want to hang out and wait there to see what kind of people buy those little astrology scroll things
04-22-03

astrology scroll
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: bar chess * Text: 

i was going to make jokes about the people playing chess in the bar until i realized i was there drinking soda and drawing pictures to put on the internet
04-22-03

bar chess
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: new glasses * Text: 

i got new glasses today and i can't tell how far away anything is
04-22-03

new glasses
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: no smarter than raccoon * Text: 

someone sent me a disco ball where the shiny reflective parts are made from broken cds but i had to take it down because i kept seeing it out of the corner of my eye and getting distracted so pretty much i guess i am no smarter than a raccoon
04-22-03

no smarter than raccoon
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: towed or stolen * Text: 

yesterday i went outside to get in my car and it had either been towed or stolen


then i realized that i just parked on the street the night before
04-22-03

towed or stolen
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: combat rising prices * Text: 

the best way to combat rising gas prices is to steal the gas and maybe also those hose things cause they are kinda cool and maybe you could make something out of them
04-20-03

combat rising prices
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: hair buffet * Text: 

hello? listen, i came up with the best idea, the idea is to open up a combination hair cut and chinese food place, i can call it LOTUS CLIPS


or HAPPY SNIP


or DRAGON SALON


or CHINA CUTS


NO WAIT I HAVE IT, THE GREAT WASH AND RINSE OF CHINA!!!
04-20-03

hair buffet
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the creepiest thing * Text: 

yeah, all three, isn't that cute


the creepiest thing you can ever do is call ex-girlfriends and tell them that since you last talked you have had three children, and they are all named after her


you can hear the revulsion course through their veins, even over the phone
04-20-03

the creepiest thing
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the kompressor show * Text: 

if you did not see the kompressor show in cleveland you missed the event of a lifetime
04-20-03

the kompressor show
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: you get knife * Text: 

this knife is for whoever played the stupid electronic drum and bass remix of bad jazz music on the jukebox
04-20-03

you get knife
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: another roll of stamps * Text: 

can i have another roll of stamps i think this one is broken
04-17-03

another roll of stamps
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: dried out pens * Text: 

even though it does no good, shaking the crap out of dried out pens can make you feel better
04-17-03

dried out pens
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: kinda feel hungry * Text: 

i hate when i kinda feel hungry cause my stomach hurts, then eat something and feel even worse
04-17-03

kinda feel hungry
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: on the nerd patrol * Text: 

why, yes, actually i am on the nerd patrol!! i guess that would make you part of the
04-17-03

on the nerd patrol
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: time for an upgrade * Text: 

DEAR THIS GUY'S WIFE!! your husband is too dumb to make a grocery list, it is time for an upgrade!!!
04-17-03

time for an upgrade
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: a name for your band * Text: 

GIVE ME $10 AND I WILL MAKE UP A NAME FOR YOUR BAND


best job ever
04-15-03

a name for your band
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:





Toothpaste For Dinner comic: combat baldness * Text: 

the best way to combat balding is to murder fraternity members and cut off their scalp and dye out all the stupid highlights and then take rogaine or something
04-15-03

combat baldness
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:





Toothpaste For Dinner comic: extended warranty * Text: 

now, you can buy a one year warranty or the special extended five year warranty it is only ten dollars more


well probably if my six dollar phone breaks i will just buy a new one but thanks for looking out for me, champ
04-15-03

extended warranty
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:





Toothpaste For Dinner comic: hipster!!! * Text: 

when you see hipsters in the street yell
04-15-03

hipster!!!
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:





Toothpaste For Dinner comic: how much coffee * Text: 

so how much coffee do you drink each day


well just one or two pots in the morning and maybe a couple in the afternoon
04-15-03

how much coffee
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:





Toothpaste For Dinner comic: dust * Text: 

dust is made of bad thoughts and mean words and you need to only do nice things from now on because your mother is tired of vacuuming
04-13-03

dust
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: only one hand * Text: 

i wish i could only use one hand to count the number of times i have picked up the sugar shaker and started pouring sugar all over my spaghetti before realizing it is not shaky cheese
04-13-03

only one hand
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: squeeeak * Text: 

SQUEEEAK


how do fifth graders play the clarinet without making that noise, when i can't
04-13-03

squeeeak
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: teeth and liver * Text: 

can i have some change


punk kids who ask for money need their teeth and liver kicked in
04-13-03

teeth and liver
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: when i am president * Text: 

effective immediately bob dylan covers are extremely illegal


when i am president
04-13-03

when i am president
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: cross country drives * Text: 

i like recommending cross-country drives to people because it is an easy way to learn what people are like in different parts of the country


(hint: they are all stupid and they are all bad drivers)
04-10-03

cross country drives
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: laser pointer * Text: 

no one needs a stupid laser pointer
04-10-03

laser pointer
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: superglue * Text: 

sometimes superglue is your friend and sometimes it is your enemy and other times it is a sitcom episode
04-10-03

superglue
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: two months * Text: 

now i know that i do not really know you but i think we should marry because right now i am unemployed so two months salary is pretty much nothing
04-10-03

two months
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: you can be anything * Text: 

you can be anything you want to be when you grow up if you are rich!!!
04-10-03

you can be anything
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: controlled by gamma light * Text: 

con-controlled by gamma light


when i was in college one year i played the dr. octagon album over and over and when i talked to my old roommate last week that was the only thing he remembered about that year
04-08-03

controlled by gamma light
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: i hate you stove man * Text: 

why don't you kick this up a notch, stove man
04-08-03

i hate you stove man
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: long curly hair * Text: 

seriously does ANYONE trust a man with long curly hair because i sure as hell don't
04-08-03

long curly hair
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: performance artist * Text: 

i am a performance artist!! my art is living in a cruddy apartment and eating microwave food now WHERE ARE MY GRANTS


national endowment of the arts if you sponsor the stupid red green show i think you could help me out here
04-08-03

performance artist
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: clove smokers * Text: 

clove smokers get PUNCHED
04-06-03

clove smokers
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:





Toothpaste For Dinner comic: fark off * Text: 

NO I AM NOT THE SAME DREW THAT MAKES FARK.COM now quit sending me mail
04-06-03

fark off
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:





Toothpaste For Dinner comic: melodrama * Text: 

i can't let you do this to yourself man you are my friend


melodramatic college people and coffee shops go together like theatre majors and me stabbing them
04-06-03

melodrama
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:





Toothpaste For Dinner comic: really a robot * Text: 

sniff


if you smell your hands right after you touch a bunch of pennies you can pretend for a second that you are really a robot
04-06-03

really a robot
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:





Toothpaste For Dinner comic: twenty ounce coffee cup * Text: 

even when i put an empty twenty ounce coffee cup on my head and the leftover coffee runs down my neck and into my eyes i am not half as dumb as musical theater
04-06-03

twenty ounce coffee cup
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:





Toothpaste For Dinner comic: best romantic comedy ever * Text: 

if i ever have a billion dollars i will make a movie and advertise it as a romantic comedy and halfway through the movie the hapless man gives up on the annoying woman and the rest of the movie is just him on the computer and him eating microwave food
04-03-03

best romantic comedy ever
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:





Toothpaste For Dinner comic: did you set the clock * Text: 

did you set the clock


what clock


the one you bought and put under my head


i love talking to people when they are not awake yet
04-03-03

did you set the clock
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:





Toothpaste For Dinner comic: i hate you peg game * Text: 

put pegs in all holes but one and then jump them over each other then THROW IT AWAY


I HATE YOU PEG GAME
04-03-03

i hate you peg game
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:





Toothpaste For Dinner comic: every time i get sick * Text: 

(infection waves shooting everywhere)


sniff


every time i get sick i want to burn everything i touch and all the clothes i have worn until i get better
04-01-03

every time i get sick
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: kneadable * Text: 

kneadable erasers are the best things ever
04-01-03

kneadable
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: please help me * Text: 

for the price of a cup of coffee you can buy me a cup of coffee
04-01-03

please help me
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the axis of medieval * Text: 

THE AXIS OF MEDIEVAL


sir rafael, 8th level magic user, skill of lock picking


master james the blacksmith, hero of the kansas city renaissance faire


lady magenta, half-elven cleric, chaotic good
04-01-03

the axis of medieval
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner comic: yip jump music * Text: 

danny don't rapp


danny don't RAPP
04-01-03

yip jump music
Share this comic:

talk about this on twitter!

share this on stumble upon!




Direct link to this comic:


Toothpaste For Dinner archives (by month):

2014: jan : feb : mar : apr
2013: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2012: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2011: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2010: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2009: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2008: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2007: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2006: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2005: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2004: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2003: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2002: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec