Superpoop: 2014
Toothpaste For Dinner archives (by month):

2014: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov
2013: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2012: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2011: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2010: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2009: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2008: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2007: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2006: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2005: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2004: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2003: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2002: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
 

Toothpaste For Dinner comic: consumer mysteries 1 * Text: 

why are there PIZZA FLAVORED snacks but no corn chip flavored pizzas
07-30-02

consumer mysteries 1

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: consumer mysteries 2 * Text: 

MY WHISKEY TASTES LIKE ADHESIVE!!! 3M YOU WILL PAY


why is there scotch tape but no tape scotch
07-30-02

consumer mysteries 2

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: consumer mysteries 3 * Text: 

if you use vinegar to clean out coffee machines do you use coffee to clean out vinegar bottles
07-30-02

consumer mysteries 3

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: consumer mysteries 4 * Text: 

these are really uncomfortable that's why


why do crazies wear tin foil hats but not tin foil pants
07-30-02

consumer mysteries 4

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: consumer mysteries 5 * Text: 

why do you park in a driveway and drive on a well i guess a better question is why hasn't someone murdered that watermelon smashing comedian guy he's really not funny
07-30-02

consumer mysteries 5

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: cutting the heads * Text: 

cutting the heads off parking meters
07-28-02

cutting the heads

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: hamster table tennis * Text: 

HAMSTER i would love to play table tennis with you but we have no table


also where did you get the paddle from
07-28-02

hamster table tennis

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: i hate these people * Text: 

when i grow up i will have a million horses and fields and a mansion!!


also fewer teeth if you are not quiet soon
07-28-02

i hate these people

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: my arch enemy * Text: 

i am the guy in your office who steals catchphrases and mis-uses them
07-28-02

my arch enemy

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: roasting marshmallows * Text: 

roasting marshmallows over a garbage fire
07-28-02

roasting marshmallows

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: door manners * Text: 

you could maybe say
07-25-02

door manners

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: even hamsters * Text: 

even hamsters like coffee
07-25-02

even hamsters

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: my coworkers * Text: 

my coworkers will certainly envy my fine taste in music files, i will turn the computer speakers up so they do not miss out
07-25-02

my coworkers

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the gyro * Text: 

even though i will burp up cucumber taste for hours to come the gyro was delicious
07-25-02

the gyro

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: treble speakers * Text: 

i installed a 15,000 watt amp and huge treble speakers in my car!  now i play music with lots of hi-hats and drive around shattering windows
07-25-02

treble speakers

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: always wash * Text: 

always wash your mouth before going to bed


if you do not have mouth wash then whiskey is okay (esp. for unemployed, divorced, elderly)
07-23-02

always wash

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: gas station * Text: 

gas station coffee is the worst
07-23-02

gas station

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: i should have majored * Text: 

i should have majored in
07-23-02

i should have majored

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: that one song * Text: 

have you heard that one reggae song?  the one where the guitar part goes ooo-waka, ooo-waka, ooo-waka
07-23-02

that one song

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: things are not so bad * Text: 

things are not so bad
07-23-02

things are not so bad

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: thinking 1 * Text: 

i will be loud because it is not annoying at all to others in the restaurant
07-21-02

thinking 1

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: thinking 2 * Text: 

i will blow smoke into the non-smoking section so they know i am cool
07-21-02

thinking 2

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: thinking 3 * Text: 

the quantity and quality of stickers on my car will compel any girl who sees it to date me
07-21-02

thinking 3

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: thinking 4 * Text: 

if i am surly to customers they will realize i am having a bad day and tip me more than usual
07-21-02

thinking 4

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: thinking 5 * Text: 

if i include references to jesus and god on my sign motorists will be more generous
07-21-02

thinking 5

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: i am a superhero * Text: 

i am a superhero!


my super power is the ability to stay in bed for longer than any mortal
07-18-02

i am a superhero

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: postal service * Text: 

POSTAL SERVICE if you raise the rates ever again i am holding a sit-in
07-18-02

postal service

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the apartment is for humans * Text: 

BIRD the apartment is for humans only so do not come any closer
07-18-02

the apartment is for humans

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the medicine * Text: 

if the medicine is to prevent pain why does it hurt my hand to open the bottle
07-18-02

the medicine

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: what color * Text: 

what color is your parachute


i have none
07-18-02

what color

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: i want to go * Text: 

i want to go home
07-16-02

i want to go

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: little fluffy clouds * Text: 

the clouds are red, purple, yellow


you don't see that anymore


you might still see it in the desert
07-16-02

little fluffy clouds

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: marrrrrrch * Text: 

july is pirate history month


but i wish it was MARRRRCH
07-16-02

marrrrrrch

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the sale * Text: 

apparently the sale going on at the record store was
07-16-02

the sale

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: why are they round * Text: 

if you are not supposed to roll bagels down the hallway then why are they round
07-16-02

why are they round

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: brian wilson drinks coffee * Text: 

if you should ever leave me, the world could show nothing to me, so what good would living do me?


god only knows what i'd be without you
07-14-02

brian wilson drinks coffee

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: he is staring * Text: 

doesn't it look like he is staring at us?


weird
07-14-02

he is staring

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: stretched necks * Text: 

sometimes when i am bored i go into fabric stores and put embroidery hoops around my neck and pretend i am from that one country where the women have stretched necks
07-14-02

stretched necks

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the tea was too hot * Text: 

the tea was too hot and now it is gone
07-14-02

the tea was too hot

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: all the clothes * Text: 

all the clothes i own are dirty and maybe i should just burn them and buy new ones
07-11-02

all the clothes

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: i am too lazy * Text: 

i am too lazy to buy silverware so instead i borrow it from restaurants and forget to return it
07-11-02

i am too lazy

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: rain does not make me melt * Text: 

rain does not make me melt but it sure leaves spots on my stupid glasses
07-11-02

rain does not make me melt

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the mall is great * Text: 

the mall is great for people-watching!  also people-ridiculing
07-11-02

the mall is great

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: thin envelope * Text: 

thin envelope means no job
07-11-02

thin envelope

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: air pedal * Text: 

wheeeeewwwwooooo


air pedal steel
07-09-02

air pedal

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: apathy is no achievement * Text: 

apathy is no achievement


snozzzz
07-09-02

apathy is no achievement

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: everyone likes coffee * Text: 

everyone likes coffee
07-09-02

everyone likes coffee

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: i turned up * Text: 

A WHOOMP THUD FIZZ CRACKLE BUZZ


i turned up the volume on all the stereos in the store so when people turn them on it is an eardrum disaster
07-09-02

i turned up

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: you are an airplane * Text: 

WHOOOOOSHHH HAMSTER you are an airplane!!
07-09-02

you are an airplane

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: it is a quarter past * Text: 

it is a quarter past time for me to buy a watch
07-07-02

it is a quarter past

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: maybe i should * Text: 

maybe i should write a program to control my body odor
07-07-02

maybe i should

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the refrigerator * Text: 

DEAR EMPLOYEES:


anything you leave in the refrigerator after five pm will be my dinner


thank you, the janitor
07-07-02

the refrigerator

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the world revolves * Text: 

i stuck an electric drill in the ground and when i turn it on the world revolves around me
07-07-02

the world revolves

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: cue ball * Text: 

i bet i can fit a cue ball in your mouth
07-04-02

cue ball

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: the largest salad * Text: 

the largest salad in the western hemisphere


wait this is western right?  i do not remember sometimes
07-04-02

the largest salad

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: when you are early * Text: 

when you are early you have to wait but if you are late everyone does the waiting so you do not have to!
07-04-02

when you are early

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: when you fall * Text: 

when you fall out of bed in outer space it does not hurt but it takes forever to get back in
07-04-02

when you fall

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: behold my sword * Text: 

BEHOLD my +1 broadsword, protection from friends
07-02-02

behold my sword

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: i can lift * Text: 

i can lift one hundred times an ant's body weight
07-02-02

i can lift

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: i will paint your house * Text: 

i will paint your house if you will be my friend
07-02-02

i will paint your house

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: my favorite superlatives * Text: 

my favorite superlatives


-o-tron


-matic


-apalooza


-licious
07-02-02

my favorite superlatives

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Toothpaste For Dinner comic: there is no explanation * Text: 

there is no explanation
07-02-02

there is no explanation

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Toothpaste For Dinner archives (by month):

2014: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov
2013: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2012: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2011: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2010: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2009: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2008: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2007: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2006: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2005: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2004: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2003: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2002: jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec